Episode ScriptEdit


Narrator: When we last left Bo-bobo, our hairbrained hero was reminiscing about old Mrs. Spoon and her wooden-headed son. How they laughed and frolicked. How Mrs. Spoon's broccoli-cabbage aroma filled the air.
Bo-bobo: PHEW!
Narrator: The Hair Hunt Troop launched a psychadelic and very groovy attack while Bo-bobo was recovering from the stench of success. Sacrificing herself for the Bo-tector, Beauty took the full force of the Fuchsia Fury. One look, and Bo-bobo knew Gechappi's groovy Hair Loss Beam had hit its mark. If only he knew what to do, if only he knew what the strange symbol on her forehead meant, If only a sign would appear onscreen, and explain everything! (text appears onscreen) Thanks. Reading that in only ten hours, all of Beauty's hair would fall out without the antidote, Bo-bobo dressed for battle success.
Beauty: Oh, that's just wrong.
Narrator: Hair Hunt Trooper Gechappi was brushed off like flakes of dandruff by Bo-bobo's Fist of the Nose Hair Attack. A quick stop to strap on the old feedbag, and our heroes were off, faster than you could say "Follow that Follicle!" Now, it's a race to steal the antidote from the Hair Hunt Headquarters, before it's too late! Hold on to your hairpieces!

Main EpisodeEdit

Narrator: And now, the Bo-bobo Master-Hairpiece Theater is almost too proud to present "Gone Bald in 60 Seconds," with the nitro-fueled natterings of... Bo.
(We open the mini-movie with the view of a car being driven by Don Patch)
Don Patch: (thinking) This is good. I've got a big headstart on that Fro-boy, and he'll never catch me. (he shifts gears) Whoo-hoo! YEAH! (He notices something in his rearview mirror) Huh?
(Bo-bobo is riding on a vacuum cleaner, and he's wearing a pink skirt)
Bo-bobo: Ha-ha! Mama loaned me her Crumb-Buster 2000! I'm gonna vacuum you up, Don Patch!
Don Patch: Yeah? Says who? Your car sucks!
Bo-bobo: Yes it does, 2,000 pounds per square inch, and once I suck you up this hose, you'll be a dustball, looking for a couch to crawl under!
(Bo-bobo's afro opens up, to show a tiny samurai, calling out to Don Patch)
Samurai: Dustball! Dustball!
(Bo-bobo slowly catches up to Don Patch)
Bo-bobo: Uh-oh. Coming up on hairpin curve! This could get a little hairy! EEH!
Don Patch: Ha! Gotcha, now, hairball! This here race is over! Not even Bo-bobo is crazy enough to try to pass me on a hairpin curve!
Bo-bobo: (thinking) It's a good thing this vacuu-racer is a cordless! Last chance, I gotta go for the gusto, or I'll get clean rinsed!
Samurai: Dustball! Dustball! Dustball!
Bo-bobo: Time to find out what this little sucker has under the hood! (pushes a button on the vacuum's hose) Controls set for deep shag! Let's drag! (he sets the vacuum to the ground, and he drives) Hyah! (he catches up to Don Patch, and drives past him)
Don Patch: G'ahh?! No stock street vacuum can take a hairpin curve that fast! Slow it down! It's no use, he's lost it. The breeze blowing up his house dress has driven him mad. I hope he doesn't crash in front of me. I don't want that piece of junk scratching my bumper, after I just waxed it. All I can do now is watch. At least I'll have a vacuum handy to pick up what's left of him. All's fair in racing. Sayonara!
(Bo-bobo performs a drift turn)
Bo-bobo: When the going gets hairy, the hairy just got to... SUCK IT UP!! (he puts the vacuum to the pavement, and drives away) See ya in the pits, Patch!
Don Patch: Ah? He actually survived the turn! Well, that's fine. (he shifts gears) If he can make it, so can I! HYAH!! (He tries to make the turn, but he breaks the steering wheel off) UH? AAAHHHH!!! (his car veers off the road, and is falling into the land below) I bet this is really gonna hurt!! (the car explodes) Yep.

(episode title card appears)
Bo-bobo: Today's episode: Queen Chicken Level and the Video Store of Dumb!
Narrator: Meanwhile, at Hair Hunt Headquarters.
(A Hair Hunt Trooper is leading a group of recently shaved people to the C-Block Headquarters)
Hair Hunter: Welcome to Hair Hunt C-Block HQ, folks. I'm your guide Maven. Inside, we have some deliciious semi-fresh snacks, and most of them might not give you food poisoning, I'm told. We know you have a choice of bad guy lairs, so thank you for choosing us, today. Now, if you're ready, let's head inside. Please keep your hands and lips off all atomic devices. This way! (the tourists follow)
(inside, the monitor turns on to reveal Geha the Gale)
Tesuikatsu: Geha the Gale, Commander. Katsu here, awaiting your order.
Geha: Our little trap is all set. Bo-bobo will arrive there, soon. Make sure that he never leaves, Katsu.
Tesuikatsu: Yes, sir! (monitor turns off; he chuckles) My pleasure. I got some plans for you, little man. I'm going to personally shave you bald, (he is holding a Bo-bobo action figure) and when I'm done busting your wig, I'm gonna bust the rest of you, just like I always wanted to. (he crushes the Bo-bobo action figure with his hand, and laughs, until an unexpected ambulance driven by Bo-bobo crashes into TesuiKatsu) OH!!
Beauty: AHH! (TesuiKatsu is sent flying, and lands on his face) Oh, Oops.
(the ambulance back door opens, as two bears unload Don Patch from the inside)
Bears 1 & 2: Holy road rash!
Don Patch: Am I still beautiful?
Beauty: Careful with him.
Bears 1 & 2: Gently, now.
(The two bears unload Don Patch from the stretcher, onto the medical table)
Bears 3 & 4: Ohhh...
Bear 3: We gotta get this guy into surgery!
Beauty: But we ran over the doctor.
Bear 1: Uh, this guy here is the doctor.
Bo-bobo: Thanks, bearamedics. (Bo-bobo is dressed as a surgeon) He's in good hands, now.
Beauty: Ahhhhhh....
Bo-bobo: Hit me with the gloves, though, This patient doesn't look very clean.
(The bears put the gloves on Bo-bobo)
Bo-bobo: He's clearly halucinating. This calls for heavy duty anesthesia!
(one of the bears takes Bo-bobo's boot off)
Bo-bobo: Sodium Python Boot Stank!
Don Patch: Not that! Anything but that!
(Bo-bobo sticks his boot in Don Patch's face; Don Patch is rendered unconscious by the stink)
Beauty: Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh...
Bo-bobo: Good thing that worked, or I'd have to use the bean gas. Now to begin the surgery. Surgical probe.
Bear: (hands Bo-bobo a fork) Probe.
Beauty: That's a FOOORK!!
Bo-bobo: It's a good thing I just sharpened this sucker. (Bo-bobo fiddles with Don Patch with the fork) First, I gotta framulate the marsupial artery. Eraser.
Bear: Eraser,
(Bo-bobo takes the item from the tray, and uses it on Don Patch)
Bo-bobo: Get in there! Banana.
Bear: Banana.
(Bo-bobo uses the banana on Don Patch)
Bo-bobo: Used chewing gum.
Bear: Used chewing gum.
(Bo-bobo takes it, and uses it on Don Patch)
Bo-bobo: I picked a bad day to wear thermal underwear. (a Bear uses a sponge on Bo-bobo) Thanks, Bearamedic. Dill pickle.
Bear: Dill pickle.
Bo-bobo: Dental floss.
Bear: Sledgehammer.
Bo-bobo: Compass.
Bear: Compass.

(some time later, Don Patch is partially covered in machine parts, and wakes up)
Don Patch: Hm? Huh?
Bo-bobo: Welcome back, Don Patch. Check out the new you.
Don Patch: (looks in a mirror, and is shocked about what Bo-bobo did to him) What have you done?
Bo-bobo: For a guy with no insurance, your surgery was a huge success! Now you're part sun, part cyborg, every mother's dream child. (a small propeller is launched from inside Don Patch's head) And releasing your new beanie propeller will enable you to sense other dimensions!
Don Patch: (to his propeller) Where are you going? (his propeller lands on the unconscious Tesuikatsu, who wakes up)
Tesuikatsu: I do not do propellers!
Bo-bobo: Hm? (is instantly dressed as a priest) Your propeller works, Don Patch. I'm picking up some very strange sensations.
(Don Patch shows up, but now has paw gloves, and looks like a horned dog)
Don Patch: That's just your underwear. It's on backwards. But what's more important is the alien presence my horn can feel lurking somewhere nearby.
Bo-BoBo: Maybe if we shake our heads side-to-side like this we'll find it.
Don Patch: Show yourself, you alien!
Beauty: (thinking) Ohh, I hate when they do the fifth dimension, ice-cream-cone-on-the-head thing. It's so lame.
(Don Patch is shocked to see something)
Don Patch: AAAAHHHH! No way.
Bo-bobo: What is it, Don?
Don Patch: They-- they are here.
Bo-bobo: Go on, just show me where the aliens are. (Don Patch points to Bo-bobo's open afro) Huh?
(inside Bo's fro is a toothbrush and toothpaste)
Toothbrush, Toothpaste: Brush your teeth to make them pretty...
Toothbrush: Or your stinky breath...
Toothpaste: ... will scare everyone in the entire city!
Don Patch: Of all the Gingivitis in the world, these two tooth pests had to walk into this place! Every day it's nag, nag. Cavity this, floss that. Gargle this, swollen gums that. At least they didn't bring that empty headed cup!
Toothbrush, Toothpaste: Ta-da!
(the cup emerges)
Cup: I'm a cup, hi!
(Beauty notices the Toothpaste, Toothbrush and the Cup)
Toothbrush, Toothpaste, Cup: Make your teeth so shiny, so boys will want to meet you!
Bo-bobo: Eh, hold it right there! (goes into a meditative pose) I shall meditate on the true meaning of this, as apparently, the wisdom of oral hygiene holds some clue to completing my mission. (Beauty is a little weirded out by Bo-BoBo's behavior) The Hair Hunt Troop is a cavity, and I am the toothbrush, so I have to brush HARD!! (brushing his teeth) I'll brush away those evil hair-huntin' trollers like some spinach that's stuck between my molars.
Toothbrush: Aah! You're brushing too hard!
Toothpaste: I'm bristling.
Cup: I'm a cup!
Toothbrush: Aaaah! At least he's using the correct vigorous up-and-down motion instead of going side-to-side. (thinking) Come to think of it, what better way to end my life than being brushed into oblivion, doing the very thing a toothbrush was born to do? Brushing disgusting day-old spinach from pearly-white choppers. At least I'm like some toothbrushes -- forced to clean the doggy stuff off the bottom of somebody's skate shoes.
Bo-BoBo: Now, shine my shoes!
Toothpaste, Cup: You, stop!
Toothbrush: Help! I hope he doesn't own a Great Dane.
Cup: I'm a cup!
Tesuikatsu: Enough! (Toothbrush, Toothpaste and Cup gasp, and Bo-BoBo's afro closes on Toothpaste, causing the toothpaste to run out his tube) Your friend's busy, taking a spin!
(Don Patch is trapped inside a dryer, he howls)
Bo-bobo: Wha- How dare you! Don Patch is dry clean only!
Don Patch: Yikes!
Bo-bobo: What happened to you?
Don Patch: It was a fiendishly clever trap; I didn't stand a chance to get away! No mutt can resist a beef-flavored chewy-bone. Help me out! You gotta, he doesn't use fabric softener!
Bo-BoBo: (brushing his teeth) I'll brush away those evil hair-huntin' trollers like some spinach that's stuck between my molars.
Tesuikatsu: Now Bo-bobo, it's just you and me. So, say goodbye to your hair. You and Beauty will both be bald, cause you'll never get the antidote in time.
Bo-bobo: Ha! The day I bald is the day I dye my nosehairs blonde!
Tesuikatsu: Very well, blondie, or should I say baldy?
Bo-bobo: Wait, that didn't come out right. Oh, just bring it on!
Tesuikatsu: ATTACK!
(as Tesuikatsu rushes towards Bo-bobo, the Bo-tector goes into his usual attack stance)
Bo-bobo: I don't like being yelled at, bald boy! (he attacks with his nose hair, sending Tesuikatsu flying) Feel the power of the Fist of the Nose Hair Attack!! (he flips, and retracts his nose hair; Tesuikatsu falls; Bo-bobo heads for Don Patch) I'll save ya, Don Patch!
Don Patch: Oh, yeah!
Beauty: Ahhhhhh...
Bo-bobo: I'll have ya fresh as a daisy in no time! (He inserts a quarter into the dryer)
Don Patch: Ahhhhh... (as he started to to turn around)
Bo-bobo: (turns his arm in circles) Around and around he goes. Where he stops, nobody knows.But he'll come out smelling like a stinky rose!
Beauty: I should've seen this coming!
Don Patch: (keeps turning) Ahhhhhhh........
Bo-bobo: (putting in more quarters into the dryer) Good thing I have alot of change!
Don Patch: (keeps turning) Ahhhhhhhhh..........
Bo-bobo: (chanting) Spin, baby, spin! Spin, baby, spin! Spin, baby, spin! Spin, baby, spin! Oh, yeah!
(screen turns white, while the dryer was beeping. Bo-bobo opens the dryer)
Don Patch: (moaning while coming out of the dryer. He was wrinkled and weak) What a terrible flight.
Beauty: (moaning)
Don Patch: It has no meal and was hot as heck.
Tesuikatsu: You don't know what hot is.
Bo-bobo and Beauty: Huh?!
Tesuikatsu: Ha! You defeated me but I'm the first level sentry. You have 4 levels to go. The higher you go, the more deadly and well-trained the sentries become. You think you can just waltz in there, and take the antidote, hairball? Good luck! (laughs)
Bo-bobo: Hm. Hey. Sorry, were you talking to me?
Tesuikatsu: Ahhhhhhh...
Beauty: At least I still have my hair. (she runs her hand through her hair) AHHHH! It's starting to fall out! (her hand has 7 strands of her hair in it) Bo-bobo, it's happening!
Samurai: And it's your fault, Cup!
(the Samurai from earlier has the Cup tied up)
Cup: Ohhhh...
Bo-bobo: Don't worry about it, Beauty.
Beauty: Huh? But I...
Bo-bobo: Just keep the faith, and I'll make everything wiggy again.
Samurai: (tightening the rope's grip on the cup) Spill! Spill it, now!
Beauty: Oh. Mm. Mm-hmm.
Bo-bobo: Let's head for Level 2, and see what we're in for!
(a screen appears and Softon was seen sitting down, looking at a picture of the younger version of him (possibly before he had the ice cream head) and a light-colored girl (possibly Beauty holding a teddy bear)
Narrator: What they're in for is four more levels of hair-curling calamity. And on the way, they're likely to cross cones with the mysterious Softon, who's got a lot of his shoulders. No one knows what it is but there's a lot of it.
(Softon closes the golden locket and holds it up)
Softon: Why do I this? I don't have kids.
Narrator: Well okay, Softon was daydreaming. But he will be thinking heavy thoughts about doom and destruction any minute now. The mysterious Softon will be back. And so will we.

(The eyecatch begins and ends)
Narrator: And we're up!

(outside of the C-Block is seen)
Narrator: And we're back. At cheery Hair-Hunt headquarters: C-Block, Bo-bobo and his friends are prepared to take things to the second level.
Tesuikatsu: At the top of those stairs, awaits your horrible and painful destruction. Also sporting goods and ladies lingerie.
(Beauty and Don Patch are seen standing in front of an elevator)
Beauty: Why don't we just take the elevator?
Tesuikatsu: (screams)
Beauty: We'll just take it to the top floor and skip all the rest.
Don Patch: Yep. And that we will skip all those pesky centuries and get you straight to your antidote.
Beauty: Alright! (Don Patch nods in agreement)
Tesuikatsu: Uh... excuse me. If I can make a suggestion...
Beauty and Don Patch: Huh?
Tesuikatsu: (bends down) Don't go to the elevator. Please don't even look at the elevator! Please! Please! Please! Please! Pleease!
Beauty: This guy's kind of an exercise nut.
Don Patch: Yeah...
Tesuikatsu: No, you don't understand! If the big boss finds out you took the elevator, I swear I'll lose my job!
Don Patch: Oh my word. Well then, if that's the case, I'll be sure to tell him.
(Don Patch presses the elevator button, while Tesuikatsu drops his jaw in shock. Don Patch and Beauty enter the elevator, but are shocked by the baby chicks doing the wig out dance while Bo-bobo is crying in the corner)
Bo-bobo: (Crying) They're too cute to fry. Poor things.
Chick: Look gang, more hairy human-types. Let's do our little chicken dance.
(Don Patch grows in disgust)
Chicks: Wig out! Wig out! Wig out!
Don Patch: Those aren't chicks, they're beauty pageant contestants!

(Don Patch throws a grenade inside the elevator)

Beauty: What are you doing!?
(Don Patch and Beauty jump for cover)
Don Patch: Duck!

(The explosion goes off and Tesuikatsu gets blown against the wall, then falls off).

Don Patch: (while Beauty is coughing from the after smoke) Man, it's lucky I got those contestants before they got us!
(As the smoke clears, it reveals the "10th Miss Chicken Queen Contest" taking place in the same elevator, showing seven chickens with Bo-bobo as the judge).
Narrator: Well I'll be tarred and feathered, if it isn't time for the Chicken Queen contest, with honorable judge Bo-bobo preceding!
Bo-bobo: Though the sight of chickens in swimsuits and high heels sickens me, I must now choose a winner. Can we now please have an annoying display of spotlights to totally confuse things?
(Spotlight display begins)
Bo-bobo: And the winner of the chicken queen contest is contestant number three: Extra Crispy!
("Extra Crispy" is shocked by the announcement)
Extra Crispy: I'd like to thank the members of the academy for this great honor. Method acting and singing my heart out on stage has always been enough reward for me, but now I'm gonna be rich!
Bo-bobo: You best hush! You won it already, but over-acting makes me go crazy inside!

(Bo-bobo gives Extra Crispy the winner's scepter that's too heavy for her to lift)!

Bo-bobo: Yay!
Don Patch: Brave queen, she was one real hot chick!
Beauty: Hey guys, we're here to save my hair, remember!? I wanna get that antidote before my head starts looking like a bowling ball!
Bo-bobo: Yes, the chicken queen is gone now, and all we left to remember her by is handful of eggs.
Don Patch: Wow, those are nice eggs! So, you think we oughta fry 'em up?
(The other chickens are shocked by this and protest)
(Bo-bobo, Beauty, and Don Patch continue to the next floor by stairs)
Bo-bobo: Personally, I prefer scrambled.
Don Patch: Scrambled's good, especially if you add some green pepper and onions.
Bo-bobo: You know, soft-boiled is nice if you have one of those holdy-cups.
Don Patch: They're wonderful.
Bo-bobo: Aren't they to die for? So cute with matching place settings and a little flower arrangements. It's a good thing. It's what I call, "egg-cellent".
(The three approach the door to the next room)
Don Patch: Ha! I get the yolk.
Bo-bobo: If you two are done with the menu, I think we're about to face our doom! I just know that whatever's inside will be horrible, but I can't be a chrome-dome!
(Beauty opens the door, only to discover a video rental store)
Hair Hunters: Heeeeey, welcome to Tapeworms!
Beauty: It's just a video rental shop!?
Bo-bobo: And I'm late for work again! Morning, boss!
Shop Manager: You're late again, Bo! That guy's starting to bug me.
(Bo-bobo enters are room and punches in for work)
Bo-bobo: Phew, I gotta start getting out of bed earlier, or else I'm gonna get my butt fired from this sweet job. Oh yeah!
Don Patch: You're such an apple-polisher. (with a 500 yen coin taped to his forehead) What am I always telling you?
Bo-bobo: Not to pick my nose?
Don Patch: No! You bimbish bod bimbo, I told you that if you always show up to work on time, the boss will start to expect you to show up on time, and then you'll be stuck having to actually work, instead of taking breaks or hiding from customers! It's a vicious cycle, don't you underst-
Shop Manager: Hey!
Bo-bobo: Hi there.
Shop Manager: You both should know there's a new employee starting today. Teach him the ropes so that he can replace one of you two.
Bo-bobo: (thinking) Uh-oh, if I know Don Patch, he's gonna bully and torture the new guy instead of me.
Don Patch: (thinking) I'll teach the newbie well so that he'll take Bo-bobo's job and not mine, then I'll make him look bad as often as I can and I'll get a raise for sure.
Shop Manager: This is your new co-worker,
(A giant amoeba appears)
Shop Manager: Cyclops Featherbrain Protozoa!
(Don Patch is shocked)
Cyclops Featherbrain Protozoa: It's such an honor working with home entertainment professionals like you. Give me all the worst jobs like scraping the chewing gum wads from under the counter.
Hair-Hunt Clerk: Boss, we have an emergency! You better come take a look!
Shop Manager: What's wrong?
Hair-Hunt Clerk: 500 clams are missing from the register!
Shop Manager: Oh yeah?
(Don Patch is shock by this and the staff turns towards him)
Don Patch: (thinking) Hiding a zit by stealing this 500 clam coin and then taping it to me forehead doesn't seem like such a good idea now.
Hair-Hunt Clerk: Look boss, it's right on his forehead!
Shop Manager: Why you little crumb-snatcher!
Don Patch: Wait, I can explain this! I didn't wanna! (points to Cyclops Featherbrain Protozoa) But he told me to! He made me do it! (breaking down in fake tears) He said that if I didn't steal the money, he'd key my car, and tell people I like disco, and dip my hand in water at night to make me wet my bed!
Shop Manager: Is this true? Tell the truth, Cyclops!
Cyclops Featherbrain Protozoa: Yes, it's all true.
(Don Patch is shocked by his response)
Don Patch: (thinking) What!? He's trying to cover for me! But why would he do that!?
(The shop manager angrily approaches Cyclops Featherbrain Protozoa)
Bo-bobo: (hands him a toy hammer and paper fan) Here's your tools, boss.
Shop Manager: Why you!
(The shop manager proceeds to hit him while Don Patch watches in horror)
Don Patch: Stop it! Somebody stop it! I never meant for this to happen!
(Bo-bobo gets ready to battle and opens up his afro contain Bill)
Bo-bobo: Fist of the Nosehair!
Bill: Well it's about time!
(Bo-bobo uses a nosehair attack against the shop manager)
Bo-bobo: Now you feel the awesome power of the Snot-For-Yo attack, don't you! Smell my justice!
Bill: (holding a sign) Come back my darling, I forgive you!
(the shop manager is knocked unconscious, while Don Patch tends to Cyclops Featherbrain Protozoa)
Bo-bobo: Is our friend going to be alright?
Don Patch: I'm fine.
(Don Patch abruptly drops him)
Don Patch: I'm just so mad at them! How they swallow all those lies I came up with!
Beauty: Please, can we just argue about this later guys? My hair!
Bo-bobo: Right, let's go!
(the three continue climbing the stairs, while Bo-bobo and Don Patch dressed as school girls mourn over Cyclops Featherbrain Protozoa)
Narrator: Finding the the century of the second floor was actually the not-so-fearsome manager of a video store, and realizing they just defeated him without paying a single fee on any of their overdue videos, our heroes bid a fare fondue to the new manager, Mr. Cyclops Featherbrain Protozoa. Now they make the fateful climb to the third level and certain doom.


Narrator: Beauty’s quest for the hair-loss antidote takes our heroes into the unbrushed teeth of danger, and a face-to-frosty showdown with Softon, surprise century of the fourth level. Spanking the enemy, not to mention his kid-like cohorts will take all of Bo-bobo’s wig-spinning skills. With talking eels, Japanese titles no one can read, poor Don Patch made into a frosty freezy-head, all of this and less in the next episode of Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo.

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